Simply put, I don’t like children. Over the years I’ve tried but it has, as yet, proved highly unsuccessful. It’s not that I’m a terrible person who eats babies or carries around a pin to pop kids’ balloons when I see their smiling faces. They’re just not for me. Maybe it’s because I was the baby of my family and never around kids younger than myself, or maybe my genetic make-up is just missing the maternal gene. More than likely, I just remember what a pain-in-ass kid I was, and never want to deal with anything equally high maintenance.
In any case, in recent years my general distaste for the younger sort has proved more and more bewildering to those around me who had once been so certain that I would “grow into it”. My mother seems to bemoan the fact that she’s doubtful to ever have grandchildren. I’ve tried to reason with her and offer a modest compromise which will accommodate my life goals, but try as I might, she still seems less than thrilled about the prospect of a grand Scottish Terrier.
My late grandmother was even more baffled by my lack of a maternal instinct and would frequently thrust pictures of her other infant grandchildren toward me pointedly stating, “I just love babies, don’t you?” As she would stare searchingly at me, looking for some spark in my eyes to indicate that I was not completely dead inside, initially I would try to feign some sort of enthusiasm, but the act wore thin pretty quickly. One day she caught me on a day when my patience was not exactly at it’s finest, and as soon as the words, “No, I love contraception” were out of my mouth, I knew I she wouldn’t bother asking me anymore.
To be continued.
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6 comments:
hehe, it's ok, I am not fond of children either. i haven't really figured out why i dislike kids so much - it might be because i am also the youngest. who knows...
and hold true to the contraception - because if you sip up once, you may not have to worry about growing into the idea, because it will be literally be growing into you!! lol. :P
maybe if they aren't big on a terrier you could convince them to accept a nice cat with an attitude?
I don't like babies either. Recently I almost tried to bribe my mother to quit smoking by telling her that I definitely wouldn't have children if she was still a smoker. She knew that I wasn't serious though... because I don't want children at all.
I had two of my aunt's neighbour kids climbing all over me once (literally as I was standing), and I was getting visibly irritated at being treated like a human jungle gym. Their mother said something to me about how it'd be different if I had my own kids. I told her that if I had kids, I wouldn't let them us a 16 year old as a set of climbers and children like hers made me weary of the idea of ever procreating.
Really, we're saving the planet. The less people there are, the better for everyone. The only problem is that it seems that it's the intelligent people choosing not to breed.
why is it that people always think that not wanting children is something you grow out of?
i have a friend who had kids and all of a sudden, she thinks i like kids now. um, no, still don't. especially your little demon spawn.
that contraceptive line killed me. :)
Baby haters!!
Actually, I care not. I personally can't wait for the day you have a Scottish Terrier, dressed in Burberry. When you're not looking, I shall make sure my children ride it round the yard...feeding it marshmallows ;)
Joking, clearly I'm dying alone and I shall join you in the dress your pet in class club.
I don't mean in class as in school...I mean with class.
Todd -- Thanks for the contraception advice. You should sell your line about the idea of 'children growing right into you' to a marketer at a birth control company. Brilliant! I look forward to more comments from you featuring your famed acerbic wit. ;)
Maggie -- The thought of having little children climbing all over me makes my skin crawl. We are saving the planet by not procreating -- yay us!
668 -- Demon spawn is right: they're all Rosemary's baby as far as I'm concerned. Glad to hear that someone else is not planning to grow into a maternal nature!
Allison -- Your kids won't have much time to ride my little Scottie around the yard...they're pretty small dogs! Better make sure they get their dog-riding shenanigans out early before they're too big. Also, lord help the little buggers if they get marshmallow on my puppy's Burberry jacket!
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